You Matter to Him!

     I have been taking an Institute Class the last few weeks.  It is especially for the mid-single adults in the Pocatello region.  We have been studying The Pearl of Great Price and we started on the first chapter of Moses this last week.  One of the things our teacher said that really hit me is that if we really know that we are children of God, we can resist the temptations Satan sends our way.  I've been pondering that a lot since then so you can imagine my ears perked up when President Uchtdorf started talking about that same chapter in General Conference yesterday morning.  I loved his talk.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  If you would like to hear it go here.
     When I was talking to my friend, Shalyce, about Conference we discussed that moment when Moses came to realize how we are nothing in comparison to God's creations.  I suddenly realized I have been there.  When I was in the eighth grade I learned in science class that the universe is so vast that we could never get to the end of it and even if we could, it is constantly expanding so that when we got to the end there would be more.  At the time I lived too far from a church building to be able to attend church and I had forgotten that Heavenly Father is right there.  Ever since I was a little girl I have looked up to the sky at the moon and the stars and they somehow comforted me and helped me remember that I am not alone.  I remember, that year in eighth grade,  I would sit outside with a quilt my grandmother gave me and I would just look at the sky and feel so tiny and insignificant and lost.  A few months later I was able to return to where I could go to church again.  That first time I walked in the building I felt like I had come home.  I remembered my Heavenly Father and that He is there.  Now when I look at the sky I feel that connection again.  I know that He is somewhere out there and that I matter to Him.  And the beauty of it all is that if you ask, He'll let you know the same thing.

The ABC's of Me

Here's another idea I got from This Is Me Challenge.

If you click on the image it will show up large enough to read.

A Day to Remember

This morning as I was getting ready for church I was listening to a radio broadcast talking about the events of September 11, 2001.  It brought back a lot of memories from this day ten years ago.  I lived in Riverside, California at the time.  I was teaching school there (2nd grade) and I was getting ready for work.  We didn't have a TV so I was listening to the news on the radio.  I turned it on at a point when everyone knew something terrible was happening, but we didn't yet know the extent of it.  Even after I got to school we didn't have a completely clear picture of what was going on.  We were told that we were not to bring up what was going on unless the children mentioned it, and then we were to reassure the children and try to keep things as normal as possible.  That was one of the hardest days I can ever remember.  Riverside is near Los Angeles and I remember that all of the planes were grounded and the silence was disconcerting.  Ever since I was a little girl I have looked up to the sky when I was in need of comfort.  I guess it's because I know Heavenly Father is out there and it's my connection to Him.  I felt a deep sense of sorrow for those who had lost their lives and a sense of vulnerability because my source of comfort, looking at the sky, now brought visions of terror to me.  I felt a little lost.
But I wasn't lost.  Heavenly Father was still there.  He spoke words of comfort through his prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley (which you can read here), and I felt peace. 
As I was pondering this during sacrament meeting today I was reminded of the time that Elder Merril J. Bateman visited my mission.  He spoke to us about the Atonement.  He told us that in the Garden of Gethsemane the Savior didn't suffer for us all at once, but one by one.  During that difficult night he went through all of our sorrows and pains, not just for our own sins we committed, but every pain, sickness, sorrow, every bad thing that has ever happened to us.  Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ we don't have to be lost and we are never alone.  There is always One who can perfectly understand what we are going through.  I guess what I am trying to say is that He can take our sorrow for this day and turn it into hope and forgiveness and peace through His Atonement.  Here is a message that explains it from the perspective of someone who lived through this tragedy.
A few days ago the Washington Post published the statements of religious leaders from around the world about their thoughts for this tenth anniversary of September 11.  Here is what President Thomas S. Monson said.

Choices

Challenge #2 on This Is Me Challenge is the question: What are some choices in your life that affected where you are now?

There are several choices I have made that have had a huge impact on my life:

• Studying Spanish.  I have always had a strong desire to study other languages.  When I was in 4th grade a girl moved into my class who didn't speak any English.  One day at recess we started playing together and we just seemed to be able to communicate even though we didn't speak the same language.  My teacher picked up on that and assigned me to help her with her English.  She was to teach me Spanish in return.  This sparked my interest in other languages.  I wanted to learn French, but when I started ninth grade in the Junior High the only language offered was Spanish.  From then on I grew to really love the language.  I ended up taking Spanish all four years in high school and I took every undergraduate class available in college.  I even ended up serving a Spanish speaking mission.  It's interesting to me that ever since I graduated from college, every job I have been offered has been because I speak Spanish.
• Going to Ricks College.  This was a wonderful time for me.  I loved all of my classes and I loved the atmosphere.  I also got to know a great group of friends whose influence is still with me today.  
• Serving a mission.  I think this has been the decision that has had the most profound impact on my life.  I learned that the world is much bigger than what I knew in my little hometown.  I met amazing people who taught me a lot through their humble examples.  I learned the gospel in a way that I had never known and I grew to love the scriptures.  I think one of the reasons I was sent to Paraguay was because of my mission president.  From him I learned about hard work.  I also learned about grace and the part it plays in my relationship with Jesus Christ.  He also taught me that the gospel teaches repentance and forgiveness and to never give up on people.
• Attending BYU.  When I started at BYU I went to the employment center and was given a job as a custodian in the Smith Family Living Center.  I had an amazing boss who expected our best work and did her best to make it fun.  Through this job I met my two best friends, Shalyce and Liesl.  These two women have always been there for me and helped me through many a hard day.  We have also traveled the world together and done lots of other fun things.  I'm so glad to have them in my life!
• Becoming a teacher.  My little students are the light of my life.  I love seeing them every day and watching the wheels turn in their heads.  They make me laugh and they teach me things, too.  I love that have been able to live among them here.  My first group of students that I ever taught are adults now, but I don't really know what has happened in their lives.  It's fun to watch the students here as they grow up and develop talents.

My Top Ten

I found a blog called This Is Me Challenge.  The author posts a challenge each week to help us record our personal histories.  It looks like a lot of fun.  The first challenge is to write down the top ten modern conveniences you would take with you if you traveled back in time.

Here's my Top Ten:
1. My Doc Martin shoes.  They're super comfortable and I need comfortable shoes.
2. An air conditioner.  I hate being hot!
3. A refrigerator/freezer.  I could make ice and keep things cold.  Did I mention I hate being hot?
4. My Cuddle Ewe.  I have fibromyalgia and I wake up feeling really achy if I don't sleep on it.  It's amazing!
5. My MP3 player with my music.  I would really miss my music if I couldn't listen to it.
6. My glasses.  They are made of a special plastic so they aren't as thick as they would have been back then.  And believe me, they would be thick!
7. The microwave.
8. The internet.  I love that I can almost instantly find information.  It also allows me to keep up with friends and family.
9. A hot water heater so I can have hot water when I need it.
10. My tooth brush.

Where Can I Turn for Peace?

Don't they look peaceful? 



It seems like peace is difficult to find these days.  I see in the news that London is burning, Wall Street is making wild swings, our government can't seem to work together for the good of our country.  The last few days have been a bit stressful in my own personal life as well.  I have found today that my mind keeps going back to a scripture I came across recently in my scripture study.  It is found in Phillipians 4:6-13.  In the 6th verse it says, "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."  There are times when I feel that peace which passeth all understanding.  I want to always have that in my life.

In the other verses I found a list of things I can do to invite that peace into my own life.  Here they are:

Verse 6 says, "Be careful for nothing: but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."  I found three things in this verse.  First, I need to stop worrying, especially about things that are not in my control.  Secondly, I need to turn to Heavenly Father for help through prayer.  The third thing I should do is to live with gratitude for my blessings (I have so many more blessings than problems, but I focus on the difficulties.  If I put my focus on my blessings, I remember that I have a Father who loves me and will never give me a trial I can't handle).

Verse 8 talks about our thoughts.  It says, "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."  I think this means that we need to control our thoughts.  As it says in the Doctrine and Covenants, ". . . let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God . . ." (D&C 121:45) I am a firm believer that our thoughts affect our feelings.  I need to pay more attention to the good things in life and surround myself with uplifting things.

Verse 9 is about the example of the Savior.  If we follow His example we can find peace.  It says, "Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do; and the God of peace shall be with you."  I think there are two parts to this verse.  First, we need to learn of the Savior by going to Church and studying the scriptures.  Secondly, we must do what we have learned.  I think a lot of that would be to serve others, just as the Savior did constantly in His life.

Verse 11 says, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."  I think another way of saying this is bloom where you're planted.  In other words, learn to be happy, whatever your situation.  When I was in college I got very sick my last year.  Keeping up with my work and school responsibilities was very difficult, but I look back on that time as one of my happiest because I was able to turn to the Lord for help and I was blessed.  I had no doubt during that time that I was loved by my Heavenly Father.

Verse 12 is a little hard for me to decipher, but I think it is talking about being humble.  It says, "I know how to be abased and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both  to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need."  To me, this says that we need to remember that everything we have is from God.  Nothing we have is through our own doing.  I always think that true humility means to know and understand my relationship to the Lord.

Verse 13 is the last verse of this list.  It says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."  This means that nothing can stop us if we have placed our faith in Jesus Christ.  In other words, we have to believe Him that He will do the things He has promised.  I must believe that after all I can do, through His grace, I can become like Him, something that I would never be able to accomplish on my own. 

So, here is that list again (just because I want to be able to look at it again).  I can have peace in my life if I:

• Don't worry too much (especially about things I can't control).
• Go to the Lord in prayer.
• Am grateful.
• Let virtue garnish my thoughts.
• Learn of the Savior and His teachings.
• Serve others.
• Am content.
• Am humble.
• Have faith in Christ, which will strengthen me.

I'm feeling better already!

Happy Birthday, Emma!

Today is Emma Smith's birthday.  The writer of a blog I follow challenged her readers to share their testimonies of the Book of Mormon today in Emma's honor.  She sacrificed so much to bring this book of scripture forth and I am very grateful for this.  The full title of this book is The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.  That is exactly what it is.  Some of my favorite scriptures about the Savior are in this book.
One of these is Helaman 5:12: "And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."  It gives me peace to know that if I try to follow Jesus Christ and build my life around what he taught I will be able to return to live with my Heavenly Father.  
My favorite part of the Book of Mormon is when Jesus came here to America to visit the Nephites and Lamanites after his death and resurrection.  They had just endured terrible storms and earthquakes.  They had gathered together at the temple and were talking about what had happened when they heard a voice.  They did not understand at first, but the third time they heard the voice they understood Heavenly Father as he introduced his Son.  Then the Savior descended.  He told them who he was and what he done for them.  The multitude fell at his feet and worshiped him.  Then he invited them, one by one, to come and touch his hands and feet and the wound in his side so that they would know it was really him.  The Savior stayed with them for several days and taught the gospel to them.  
I love the Book of Mormon.  I know that it truly is scripture given through the people who lived here in America anciently.  In the Book of Mormon we are promised that if we will read it and pray to ask Heavenly Father if it is true, our prayers will be answered and we will know that it is a true book.  I have done just that and I know that it is true.  The prophets who wrote the Book of Mormon saw our day and wrote what they thought we would need.  As I read this book, I find the answers to my questions and I gain the strength I need to do what is right.  Thank you, Emma and Joseph, for your sacrifice!

What Easter Means to Me

     One of my favorite songs is "I Believe in Christ."  I love my Savior and this song, by Bruce R. McConkie, for me is an expression of that love.  I especially love the last verse and, as I sang it in the MTC one day, it really hit me that this song is true.  The part that brought tears to my eyes and gratitude to my heart was when it says, "From him I'll gain my fondest dream."  For me, my fondest dream is that returning to my Heavenly Father and spending eternity with him and my family.  The problem is, I can't do that on my own.  I make mistakes and I become unclean in the process.  The scriptures say no unclean thing can be in the presence of God.  Because of Jesus Christ's sacrifice, and through his grace, I can be clean again and I can become perfect when I repent and do the best I can to follow Jesus Christ.  My weaknesses will become strengths.
     The other part of Christ's Easter gift was that, just as he rose again on the third day, we can, too.  During my last year of college, I started to get sick.  I felt lightheaded all the time and my body always hurt.  I felt nauseated all the time and it was so bad I couldn't read my school books.  I had no energy and I had constant headaches.  I finally went to the doctor and was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome.  This was about 13 years ago.  Back then, doctors didn't really know what caused it and there was no cure.  I was facing a lifetime of pain and illness.  As the years have gone on I have found things that help and if I take care of myself things are pretty much ok.  I have flare-ups from time to time, but most of the time I can almost forget.  I have to lead a pretty quiet life, though.  On those days when I can't do what I want without pain I remember that, because of Jesus' resurrection, I will once again be able to do things without pain.  Not only that, I will be able to associate once again with those I love who have passed on before me.  I will be able to meet my sister, Sarah, and my niece, Graycee, who passed on before I even got to know them.
     All of these things are possible because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  It is because of him that I can sing:

I believe in Christ; he stands supreme!

From him I'll gain my fondest dream;

And while I strive through grief and pain,

His voice is heard: "Ye shall obtain."

I believe in Christ, so come what may,

With him I'll stand in that great day

When on this earth he comes again

To rule among the sons of men.

Over the River and Through the Woods

My sister, Ashley and our cousin, Jason.

My cousins and I in the sandbox.

My brother, Wade, and our cousin, Jonathan.

Outdoor Games.  Cousins.  Flowers.  Conversation.  Food.

     This is what I think of when my Grandma Aldridge's home comes to mind.  As a child I spent a lot of time there.  We would go visit just about every Sunday evening and we'd always watch Lawrence Welk and Hee Haw. 
      In the summer we played for hours with cousins.  We played games like Fox and Eggs and Starlight, Moonlight (our version of Ghosts in the Graveyard).  I also liked hanging out with the adults.  I would play hard with the kids and, when I was hot and tired, I would run inside where it was cool and listen to my dad and his family reminisce about their childhoods.  I remember driving home, squished between my brother and sisters, exhausted and happy.
     Grandma always had cookies and Popsicles for us when we came.  She still has cookies: sandwich cookies (my favorites are the lemon ones) and those fudge striped ones.
     I also loved the quiet times there.  Many times the whole family would be outside eating or sitting and talking in Aunt Janeal's back yard.  I would sneak in when I needed some quiet and sit in the living room.  Grandma had a big old swamp cooler in the back of her house and she put some wind chimes right where the air would blow.  I loved to sit there and just be quiet, enjoying the cool air and the sound of tinkling chimes. 
     Grandma always has flowers everywhere at her house: petunias, pansies, marigolds, violets, bleeding hearts, tulips, columbines, poppies, and probably more I can't think of right now.  I learned to love flowers from her.  It's fun to see how her flowers take over her driveway in the summer.  Someday, we'll probably have to wade through a field of flowers to get inside.

Nooks and Crannies.  Hills.  Zoo.  The Space Needle.  Green.


     I only had the opportunity to visit my Grandma and Grandpa Barnes' house a handful of times.  They lived in Seattle so it was a long trip.  They lived in a two-story house near the Seattle Zoo.  Their home was so close to the zoo, in fact, that we could hear the animals at night.  I remember on our first visit there my brother was up all night because he thought he heard a woman being murdered.  In the morning he found out that it was just the peacocks.  :)
     I loved Grandpa and Grandma's house because it had an attic bedroom where we children got to stay.  (I was fascinated by attic bedrooms as a child.  I always had the hope that I would find an old trunk with old-fashioned clothes and other things from the olden days.)  There were some old dolls there and for some reason I was terrified of them at night.
     I loved all the hills in Seattle.  One time, an uncle showed us how to ride down Grandpa's hill on a box.  I don't think Grandpa was too happy when we got home. We tore up his lawn a bit.
     I love how green it is in Seattle.  There are trees everywhere.  Grandpa and Grandma had a little tiny back yard with trees and grass.  I would sometimes go back there just to enjoy the plants.

Gardens.  Weeping Willows.  Attic Bedroom.  Quiet. Horses.

Grandma and Grandpa Harrison

      My Great-Grandpa Harrison lived to be 95 so he was around until I was about 18 years old.  I feel blessed to have known him.  He was one of those people who stayed active until the end.  My Grandpa Aldridge passed away when I was just three and Grandpa Harrison tried to always be there for us so we would still have the presence of a grandfather in our lives.  I loved going to his house.  It was usually a quiet visit because the big family gatherings were most often held at Grandma Aldridge's house. Their yard had several huge weeping willows.  I loved to go play under them.
     My cousin, Kristi, and I got to stay the night at their house once.  We got to sleep in the attic bedroom.  I never found any trunks (although I was always on the lookout), but there was a huge old bed that was so high that I had to get a running start to jump in.  There was also a vanity and a little tiny window that I loved to look through.  As Anne of Green Gables would say, there was lots of "scope for the imagination" up there.  I remember that Grandma Harrison made us some french toast and she blended up the eggs with banana in them.  I thought that was amazing.
     Grandpa had a pasture out behind his garden and there were often horses there (Grandpa would let people use it from time to time).  He would take us out to look at them all the time.  I was fascinated by the fact that there were huge chunks of the fence missing because the horses would eat it.
     When Grandpa was 95 he got cancer.  My dad and I would go over to help out and give Grandma a break.  Dad would mow the lawn and I would sit with Grandpa to help him if he needed anything.  Grandpa was really too sick to talk, but I loved sitting there with him, just being quiet.  What a great privilege it was to spend those last few weeks with him.